


Happy Birthday

by notjoelmiller



Category: The Last of Us (Video Games)
Genre: Alcohol, Angst, F/M, Gender-Neutral Pronouns, Joel is mean but like he always is so, M/M, brief mentions of violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-13
Updated: 2020-10-13
Packaged: 2021-03-07 19:01:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,571
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26982559
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/notjoelmiller/pseuds/notjoelmiller
Summary: It's Joel's birthday, so you decide to surprise him with a gift.
Relationships: Joel (The Last of Us)/Reader
Comments: 9
Kudos: 43





	Happy Birthday

**Author's Note:**

> uhm so I had this idea like 3 weeks ago and planned on having it out by the 25th or 26th but yeah that didn't happen <3 also I wanted to post a ch fulfill the word that I already have done but that also didn't happen because I finished and am uploading this.
> 
> also im not rereading this once I put it into ao3, I onlyy went through once so there is 100% gonna be mistakesa
> 
> also ha ha Joel likes Johnny cash trope because I'm *unoriginal*

Music poured out of the opening of your garage. It was some song from the 90s. Tommy’s sure that back then he would have been obsessed with it, but after 40 years, it was a distant memory. Still, it was a nice reminder.

That’s why he was there. You were, as he dubbed, his ‘favorite DJ’. In actuality, you just had a lot of cassettes and were good at fixing up machinery. People in Jackson came to you to fix up stuff they found outside of town, or they came to you because they wanted a reminder of the days long gone in the form of music.

Tommy stood at the opening of your garage and looked around. His eyes landed on the large truck, which hardly took up half of the room in the big space, and the pair of legs sticking out from underneath it. Tommy walked to the front of the car and nudged a leg with his foot.

Tommy saw you freeze, then a moment later you slid out from under the car. You were sweating in your tank top, and your clothes were stained with smudges of oil. It wasn’t an unusual sight. As of late, you’ve been itching to get cars working for use around Jackson. Even before then, it was rare that you weren’t tinkering with something messy.

Tommy offered you a hand. You accepted it and grunted when he pulled you up. You walked over to the stereo (another fix of yours) on your workbench and turned down the volume. 

“That’s a good one,” Tommy said as he followed you to the bench. “Pretty sure I had a CD of it back in the days.”

You nodded and sat on the edge of your bench. “What’s up?”

Tommy smiled, _straight to the point._ “I want a cassette for Joel,” he said. Your eyebrows rose, seemingly surprised, but Tommy continued, “I wanted to know if you had any tapes for him?”

You nodded, sliding off the bench. “Yeah, yeah, follow me.”

You led Tommy through your house into your storage room. Half of the room was filled with old tech pieces, and the other half was filled with CDs, records, and cassettes.

“Who are you looking for?”

“Johnny Cash.”

You nodded and searched through a few boxes before letting out a soft _‘gotcha’._ Tommy chucked softly and walked over to peek over your shoulder.

You began pulling tapes out, listing them off. Tommy lost track about four albums into the list. By halfway through, he wasn’t even trying to pay attention. Eventually, he just stopped you and pointed to a random tape.

_“That one.”_

You looked at the tape and frowned, _“American III?_ You sure you don’t want _American IV?_ I’m pretty sure he’ll like that one better.”

Tommy rolled his eyes, handing you the tape, “I’ll stick with this one for now. Hell, I have to save _something_ for Christmas, right?”

You shrugged, loading the cassette up with a blank one. You started copying them and looked at Tommy. “How is Joel?” You asked.

“Good, why?”

You scratched your neck, shrugging. “I don’t know. He doesn’t come by very often. Last time I saw him was when he asked me for that tape for Ellie.”

Earlier in the summer, Joel came to you, asking for a shuttle launch cassette for Ellie. You gladly agreed, but it took you awhile to actually find the tape. In the end, you only found a CD, which you recorded onto the cassette. Nevertheless, when Ellie came to you screaming about an _‘awesome fucking tape’_ after her trip with Joel, you couldn’t help but find her joy contagious. 

“I’m sure that upsets you, huh?” Tommy elbowed you and you groaned.

During the New Year’s party this year, you and Maria had a little too much to drink and ended up giggling messes in the corner. Sometime late in the night (or early in the morning), Joel came over to say goodbye to you and Maria. You watched him leave with doe eyes. And, while you don’t quite remember the contents of this confession, you made your feelings about Joel quite apparent,

Maria told Tommy, of course, who hasn’t let you live it down since. Maria is thankfully a bit more subtle than Tommy, only throwing you a few cheeky looks when people are around, only teasing you in privacy.

“Tommy, when are you going to let that go?”

Tommy laughed. He left your side to check up on the tape. “I don’t know,” Tommy said through a wide grin, “When it’s not funny anymore.”

_It was never funny._ You bit your tongue and forced yourself to move on with the conversation, “How is he?”

Tommy, thankfully, answered you this time, “Good- _grumpy_ -the usual.”

You nodded, and swatted Tommy’s hands away from the player, which he was poking at. He stood up straight and looked at you with furrowed brows. You just shook your head.

“What’s the occasion?”

The surprise melted away from Tommy’s face and was replaced by something more somber. “Oh,” he said, “it’s his birthday.”

It was your turn to be surprised. Joel was not a sentimental man, so to hear about a birthday celebration for him, even with family, was a surprise.

“Really?” You checked up on the tape- _almost done._ “I didn’t peg him as the birthday party type.”

Tommy sighed, grabbing your attention from the tape, “Well, he’s not. It’s just that this is…” He reached up to scratch his neck, searching for the right words. “It brings up bad things for him,”

“Ah,” you said, deciding not to press. Everyone has bad memories, and everyone accepts the unspoken rule of _mind your business_ when it comes to others’ trauma.

The tape stopped and you smiled. “It’s done.” You popped out the new tape and scribbled the album name on it. “I hope he likes it,” you said, handing it to Tommy.

“Me too,” Tommy laughed. “Thank you.”

“My pleasure.” You nodded as Tommy disappeared through the door.

Once you were sure Tommy was out of your house, you darted to the living room. Coming up to your bookshelf, you pulled a box off of the top shelf. You pulled off the lid and smiled. In the box were dozens of blank birthday cards. A few years back, you started collecting them to give out to neighbors and friends for their birthdays. If you knew someone’s birthday, they were getting a card- it was common knowledge in Jackson. 

If you could, you would scrape together something more substantial. For Ellie’s birthday this year you got her a better pair of headphones for her walkman. They were a nice pair, and you would have loved to take them for yourself. The look on Ellie’s face when you handed it to her, though, made the sacrifice well worth it.

It was then that you remembered the chocolate bar sitting in your ice box. Last week, some traders came by with it. You snatched up the last bar they had in their supply. Apparently, they have contacts way down south who grow some, and every group they come across go crazy for them. It took a lot of convincing and a lot of trading, but you got it in the end.

While you wanted to devour that chocolate more than anything in the world, you knew that it would serve a better purpose.

You grabbed a card and wrote a letter to Joel. It was simple, but heartfelt.

After tying the chocolate and card together with a simple bow, you made your way to Joel’s house. It was comfortable outside, surprisingly warm for a late September day. 

Soon, Joel’s house came into view. The lights were off, so you made sure to be quiet as you approached the door. You placed your hand on the door for balance as you bent to place the gift down.

Suddenly, the door opened. You stumbled towards the opening space, bumping into a firm chest. The body stumbled back, and did nothing to help you regain your balance. When you eventually did, you looked up to lock eyes with a red-eyed Joel.

“What are you doing here?” He asked, sniffling slightly. His voice was hoarse and nasally. He was clearly crying, but you didn’t want to bring it up.

“Oh,” you said. You took a breath to regain your composure, “I heard it was your birthday, so I came to drop something off for you.” You waved your hand at the little package on the floor behind you. “I’ll leave you be now.” Joel rolled his eyes, and for a moment you began to feel bad for bothering him.

“Just come on in.”

Joel turned on his heels and strutted in his house. You couldn’t help but let your eyes wander from his shoulder to his hips as he made his way to the kitchen. Despite the distraction, you followed him, saying, “Joel, I really don’t want to be a bother.”

Joel ignored you, opening the fridge to grab a pitcher. “Do you want water?”

“Joel really,” you watched as he reached up to grab two glasses off of the shelf. His shirt stretched against his chest at the effort, and it just barely showed a sliver of stomach. Your eyes were fixed on the little piece of skin as you spoke, “I’m not trying to impose, I can-”

_“You’re not._ If I wanted you to leave, I wouldn’t have invited you in.”

“Oh,” you gaped. _Oh._ “Water would be nice.”

You watched him pour the glasses. He spilt some water on the counter and cursed slightly. He grabbed the non-overflowing glass and handed it to you. “Sorry ‘bout that.”

You smiled politely and took a sip. “It’s fine.”

Joel leaned back, bracing himself on the counter. You opted to sit on a nearby stool.

There was a pause, so you offered, “I haven’t seen you around much.”

“I’m busy.”

You nodded and took another sip of the water. It wasn’t very cold. Joel must have just thrown it in the fridge before you arrived. You would have asked him for some ice if it wasn’t for the awkward nature of the situation.

“How old are you now?” You asked, bringing the conversation back to his birthday. After all, it was the reason why you were there. “49? 50?”

“Does it matter anymore?”

You took a deep breath. Joel’s curtness was beginning to irritate you. Though, you remained calm, “I suppose not. I stopped counting a while ago. I tried to start up again once I came to Jackson, but it just became too jumbled with guessing and stuff.”

Joel rubbed his face, nodding slightly. “It is, isn’t it?” He shuffled over to be on the other side of the counter as you and the stool. 

When he moved, you noticed a coffee machine planted in the corner. “You have a coffee machine?”

Joel seemed taken off-guard by your question, as if he wasn’t able to process it fully. You pointed to the machine on the other side of the room and he let out a silent, “Oh.” He nodded, “Yeah… damn thing’s broken though.”

You perked up, leaning your body over the counter and closer to him. “Why don’t you bring it to my shop tomorrow? I’ll see if I could fix it up for you- _no cost,”_ you winked playfully.

He only responded to you with a nod, then it was back to silence. Finally, he spoke, “I really appreciate you coming here tonight and the gift. I…” Joel was struggling with his words. You could tell that he wanted to say something, but he just couldn’t find the right words.

You filled the gap, “Oh, Joel, it’s nothing."

“No,” he said, a bit too forcefully. His eyes, tired, glazed over, and filled with something you couldn’t quite name, bore into yours. “I really appreciate it.”

Joel leaned in, and you felt butterflies. As he got closer, you couldn’t bring yourself to look away from his eyes. There was something off about them, something you couldn’t place. Though, you leaned in with him.

Your lips met in the middle, noses brushing with one another. Joel’s hand came to cup your cheek. It was everything you wished for, but you couldn’t bring yourself to reciprocate the effort. There was something wrong; his movements were the slightest bit too sloppy.

_Alcohol,_ you realized. His lips tasted like alcohol, but not just a little. It was then you realized that it wasn’t just his lips. Joel _reeked_ of it. 

You pulled away, brows furrowed and chest rising and falling with deep breaths. Your eyes racked up and down his body. “You’ve been drinking.”

_Shit,_ you thought, _he’s definitely been drinking._ The smell of alcohol burned your nose. Your eyes scanned Joel’s face. His cheeks were flushed, but it wasn’t just from his crying. He was swaying slightly, even as he white-knuckled the counter to keep balance.

You felt betrayed. The one thing you’ve wanted from Joel- a relationship, a _real_ relationship -was just ruined by his drunken stupor. 

“Joel,” you whispered, “were you drinking?”

Joel was quiet. You cursed.

“I know Tommy said your birthday is a hard time, but-”

“Don’t,” he interjected.

“I know you don’t want to talk about it-”

_“I don’t.”_

“But just know that you don’t have to be alone, Joel. I know what it’s like, _believe me-”_

Joel picked your glass up and slammed it down on the counter. You were shocked that the poor thing didn’t shatter after the noise it made.

_“Get. Out.”_ Joel growled.

You’ve never seen the man angrier before. Not when some girls were making fun of Ellie. Not when Tommy broke the carving he spent months on. Not even when some crazy wanderer came up to him on a patrol and stabbed him. It was only you. _You_ pissed him off. You pushed him too far.

“Joel-”

“I know what you’re doing. I know your motives-”

“Motives?”

“-Don’t think Tommy didn’t tell me.”

_Fuck,_ you thought. You knew you couldn’t trust Tommy.

“You’re just here to swoop in when I’m low and play the hero.”

You gaped. His little speech couldn’t process fully in your brain. There were so many things wrong, but you couldn’t find the words to express it. The only thing you managed was, “I-”

_“I told you to get out.”_

You nodded, fighting to hold back tears. You slipped off of the bench and padded over to his door. Without a second glance, you left.

It was much colder during this walk. You ran your hands up and down your arms. Fingers brushed against raised goosebumps in a futile attempt to rid of them. The breeze against the trees, just beginning the transformation for fall, drowned out your quiet cries. You watched the ground go by with each step, gray concrete fleeting.

Someone called your name. You looked up.

Tommy and Maria were approaching from up the block. They were headed your direction, likely going to visit Joel like you had.

You sniffled and wiped your tears away. _Childish,_ you thought as your fingers came back damp.

“What's up with you?” Maria said. If she or Tommy noticed your obvious tears, they didn’t say a thing. You didn’t know if you would rather them say something or not.

“It’s nothing,” you whispered, “Nothing at all.”

**Author's Note:**

> anyways please lmk what you think your comments give me life luvs


End file.
